To ensure that I will never forget the promise to go after my dreams, I decided to write it down here so that everyone will see it. Then, I have no chance to take it back.
So, what exactly do I have a passion for? What do I go after?
I dream of becoming a medical doctor since I can’t even call to mind. I still remember like yesterday the perplexed the face of my program mentor when he read through my transcript. “Don’t you want to graduate on time, darling?” he asked. Why on earth a business degree student took so many courses in human anatomy, human physiology, the human brain, human psychology, and child development like that. I beg he has no idea, but I know the reason very clearly. I couldn’t stop my curious mind. There is nothing else would bring me so much joy like reading, and learning about those kinds of stuff. Sadly, I was not confident enough to chase my dreams. “Are you kidding me? Become a medical doctor with a background like you? Oh, come on! You are not qualified. You don’t even have the money” my reasoning screamed at me like that all the time.
After giving birth to my son, my body started to collapse. It likes a rolling ball running down from the top of the hill, nonstop. I did not know what happen to me: breaks out, hair loss, insomnia, tired, fatigue, bloating, gas, you name it. Even worse, my son did suffer as well. He got eczema all over his face, arms, and legs. It started with diarrhea, then blood in his stool, and then food allergies. We visited doctors to doctors, but no-one could pinpoint the problem. They all told me that these are very common health issues with small children and infant. They will grow out of it somehow, hopefully. Uhm, really? I don’t believe that is a persuasive explanation for all what happening to me and my son. I don’t have a good feeling about either hydrocortisone creams, or the artificial formula they ask me to try for him. Now, I am thankful that I did not follow those conventional guides. I am thankful that I trust my gut feeling.
I determined that I must take control of my own health. Please don’t get me wrong here. I am no way disrespect medical doctors. They are highly respected people. I just wish they could be a little bit better listeners.
So, what did I do?
I spent nights after nights just to read medical papers, books, and search health forums. I then finally have the answer for my own health issues. It has been three years from the date I begin my healing journey. I know there are still so many things that I have to work on. But I feel better and better every day. I am also proud that I heal eczema and leaky gut for my son completely by using just whole food and vitamin supplements.
It was definitely a tough lesson to learn. But without it, I will not realize who should I become to best serve this world. I want to become a holistic healer who can help people release, and let go of their pains physically and mentally by addressing the root cause. My desire is to spread out to the world the power of whole foods. I want to share my story with a hope that it can help people. I will build a support community for young mothers so that we are free to learn, to express and can enjoy motherhood together.
I now know part of my root cause is the image that I trapped in my unconscious mind as a failure in everything. I did not love myself enough. Now it is time to let go. Letting go is the only way that helps free me to be where I mean to be.
My first step is to indulge myself in reading, and learning as much as I can afford of right now. I am so thankful to be part of the INN community and be able to connect with people with the same love, and passion. Then I want to learn all about Chinese Traditional Medicine which I found myself fascinated with.